Why is it in the gay community that gay men say “she” or “girl” to each other? i’m a man. The last time i checked I was one and just because i’m attracted to men doesn’t mean that i should be refereed to as a woman. I feel like it makes it go back to gender roles. I’m a man, attracted to men. That’s just one thing that kind of bothers me about the gay community. That we preach inclusion and acceptance yet we do things that Make us not included. Maybe i’m old fashioned or what not but I don’t really get it. I don’t know that’s just how I feel. Could anyone shed light on this?
My boyfriend and I have been together officially two months. It is interesting to me to see how we are playing out as a couple who is completely different. For instance:
He is introverted; I’m extroverted
He is OCD and i am well, not
I’m blunt and he doesn’t want to say certain things.
But what I have learned is that in a relationship, it is give and take and communication. While these are things that I already knew, Putting it into practice is different. I realized that I am still selfish and forget sometimes that he doesn’t think like me or know the things that I know. That we get frustrated over things about each other that aren’t in the long run, that big of a deal. Yet as we learn we can’t help but love and laugh. Sometimes i’m stubborn and hard headed and he is patient with me. Sometimes he gets upset about things that I may not think is that big, but we work and learn from each other. all this to say that We both think the same as we gather data, and use that to help form our thinking or opinions. That I think helps us in our relationship and makes us better in the long run. He reports on things going on in the community, I help people in the community become better people. ( well not yet, but I will). I love how we can make it work and strive to be better with each other and with others. Having God in the center of the relationship and striving to be better.
A few weeks ago, my sister came to me with a proposition. her and her husband would like to help me pay for an apartment. I mean how awesome! I have been wanting to move into town for a few years, but I never had the means to do so. What I didn’t think was how stressful and time consuming that it was. I knew what I wanted and what I could afford.
As I look through countless ads for apartments and go and visit them. I either can’t afford it or it isn’t something that I’m sure about. Things that I had to consider like the area, how long will it take me to get to work and my Internship? What is included. Things that I never really had to think about before. So as I journey on, It becomes clear about what I want. Which is kind of like life. As I get older I know what I like and what I want out of my life. Like my apartment search, there will be ups and downs and disappointments. In the end though, I will find the thing that is the best fit. It isn’t about what I want. No! It’s about the experience, the Journey, and what you learn in the process. To me as well, it is what God wants for my life as well.
- don’t ask “can you eat that?” Since I have been Diagnosed, I have had people ask me can I eat certain things. I can literally eat anything! there are some things that I can’t eat as much of, But ultimately I can eat it. And if there is something I can’t I know what they are.
- Don’t say things like “oh my Grandma has diabetes.” Great! but how it effects my body and her body is completely different. Just because we have the same condition, does not mean it effects us the same way.
- Type 1 and Type 2 are not the same. These are different conditions. While yes, there are similarities, there are a lot more differences.
- Don’t ask “is that the bad one?” There isn’t a good one. they both can be “bad” in the sense of they can kill you, if not regulated.
- Saying “I couldn’t do that! I hate needles!” doesn’t help I’m pretty sure if you needed to do it to stay alive you would, you don’t know what you would do in a situation till you are in it.
- But you aren’t fat! Type one Diabetes doesn’t care if you are Fat or skinny, Black or white. My pancreas does not work.
- Type one is NOT controlled by diet! Type 2 is. Type one has no cure and while eating well can help regulate blood sugar, it doesn’t have you be off of insulin or get rid of your diabetes.
- “Did you eat to much sugar?” Sugar has nothing to do with Diabetes. While large amounts for anyone isn’t good, We can have sugar, just small amounts.
- “Doesn’t that hurt?” It can! but honestly, the needles are small and most of the time I don’t feel it.
- Don’t act like an expert. While it is awesome that you educated yourself and everything, Don’t tell me about my own illness. Unless you have it, don’t tell me things I know more about.
It’s been about a month with type one. I have had people say “ohhh, I’m sorry” but it really isn’t a bad thing. Yeah, sometimes it sucks, and my BS (blood Sugar) dips down a lot more or is not great in the mornings. This morning, 6/23, it was at 80. I ate some oatmeal and off I went to work. I even put fruit in my oatmeal and of course I get to work, and I’m low. Like in the 50’s low! What am I doing wrong? Under carbing myself? With that, it has been interesting seeing how it fluctuates in different situations and areas of my life. I guess my question is what can I do to make sure that my sugar stays consistent through out my morning? or even my day?
with all this said, I’m used to adjusting to things. Having to alter life so I can be in this crazy thing called life and society. I know that I WILL overcome and will get it balanced that it just becomes second nature. Having two disabilities helps that understanding. Getting out of the hospital and realizing that my life, as I know it, was going to change. FOREVER! and it is overwhelming. I am a now a person with doctors appointments in my planner, insulin vials and talking to my co-worker about my numbers and latest frustrations (she is type 2).
My metabolism makes it hard to keep it at a normal range because I burn off my carbs so easily that sometimes I can be low and not even know it. So keeping my metabolism in check with my Diabetes, is the biggest thing that is hard.I think the best thing is having a support system! And people who are willing to give you food and understand the signs of you being low! So reality is most of the time it isn’t that bad….. but there are times that it can be annoying. In my feat to understand type 1 I realize that my body is still adjusting. That could be the greatest challenge of all.
I was thinking the other day about the word normal. I came to the realization that everyone’s normal is different. That we are all raised different, have different experiences and well we process things differently. I have known this from an early age. Having a stutter and a learning disability, it is has taught me so much of patience and what it means to not be like everyone else. To walk into rooms and have people stare at me because of my speech. as I have gotten older, I realize that my normal is way different from everyone else. I have always wanted to exude that no matter who you are, or what you have done or what you have you can always make a difference in this world. Sometimes pushing the mold is the best thing at the time.
I have always had to challenge myself. If someone told me that I couldn’t do it, I would do it and usually accomplish it. So what does that mean for us as a nation? or a society? I think it means that we can embrace people who are different. we don’t necessarily have to agree with them, but we can still love them and treat them as people. I think that is hard for people because we feel that OUR way is right, or what we believe is right so because they are different or we are told that they are wrong, then they automatically just disregard them as people instead of treating them with respect. Again, you can treat a person with respect and NOT AGREE with them. Sometimes fitting into a box that you are expected to fit into, isn’t at all easy. There are things are naturally how all of us are or act and then there are things that we are taught. We have to act a certain way, talk a certain way and are never truly allowed to be ourselves for fear of getting told that we are wrong. In this I have learned that having tow disabilities doesn’t stop me from being what I want to be and what I want to do. I just have to work harder and maybe do a little extra, but in the end I will accomplish my goals. I want people to know that what ever you have gone through, or what ever has happened that you can still rise up and do what you want to do.
Three weeks ago I found out I have Diabetes Type 1. to most people it might be expected. But lets start at the beginning. About Five months ago I started losing weight. I related it to stress because well when I get stressed, I loose weight. So I didn’t think anything of it. In mid march I started having dry mouth symptoms. Everything processed tasted bitter, so I only really stuck with fruits and veggies. I was always thirsty and was in the bathroom a lot. You may ask “how could you not know?” You have to understand there is no family history so that would have not been my first thought. The week that I went to the hospital I started feeling bad. The Tuesday before, I went to Truesdale Aquatic Center to swim before work. I wasn’t feeling great but I went anyway. I swam two laps and was exhausted! I remember standing in the shower and not being able to stand for long periods of time. Walking back to my car was a challenge and I laid down for ten minutes in my front seat till I had the strength to make it to my parent’s house three minutes away. I prayed to God saying “Lord, please have me get to my parent’s house!” So I drove and I made it. The next three days I slept and was so tired. My parents were set to go to the beach for vacation. I told my mom to go that I’d be fine and that my sister Tori was 7 blocks away so if I needed anything I could call her. That Saturday my mom called my sister to buy me some Ensure, for muscle strength. Tori called me and asked if I needed anything and I told her to buy me Apple Juice. When she got to the house, she decided that I needed to go to the hospital. So her husband drove her to their house, and she got her car and we went.
The Hospital was surprisingly not busy. I got in and was admitted right away. The nurse walked in a few minutes later and explained everything and hooked up IV’s and said to us “well, you have Diabetes” which I found comical because of the way she said it. After what seemed like hours and a few minutes after my mom arrived, we were finally going to the ICU. As the bed was wheeled down the hall with my mom and sister in toe, I noticed all the other patients, and noticed that the hospital was surprisingly calm. Especially for an ICU. I noticed the white walls and sterile environment. When I got to the room a very enthusiastic nurse, Christian, came in and started talking and explaining everything that he was going to do. We hit it off with him instantly, he was warm and funny and helped past the time with great conversation.
I was put on a saline drip and insulin. Talk about being wired up! but with all of this happening, I can say that I am grateful for all the people who came to see me and to everyone who has been calling and supporting me as I adjust. It has been three weeks and I have a new norm of preparing meals and snacks, and taking insulin three times a day. I gained all my weight back and Have my first specialist tomorrow the 7th. The week after I was out of the hospital, I spent going to doctors appointments and finding out where to get my insulin and my mom and I learning everything about carbs. So to everyone and anyone struggling, I want to say that you can do it! take it from someone who went from healthy to having type one in a split second. Don’t ever doubt yourself and never give up because you are stronger than you think.